I read an article on leadership and team development this morning, and it discussed, at length, the cost an organization pays for disengaged employees. This made me think that though we don’t necessarily have dollar values or bottom-line financial costs associated with personal disengagement, we suffer similar symptoms.
When we are disengaged at work, we don’t give our all. We don’t share our ideas or insights. Our potential is not fully tapped, and we fail to show up in a meaningful way. Our participation suffers, and though we may not realize it, we pay the price as much as our employers do.
We don’t grow the ways we could, instead going inward and experiencing professional burn out. This behavior is insidious because it gradually erodes self-worth, which leads to long-term career setbacks. When we are not contributing, we tend to forget what we’re capable of doing. This means that we may not reach out for that next job, the one that’s a little intimidating and just beyond our current capabilities. We don’t feel great about ourselves and our work, and therefore, we don’t know why a new employer would want us. The longer disengagement goes on, the deeper we can fall into this depressive thinking, and the longer it can take to get our careers back on track.
It is precisely the same in our lives.
When we feel emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually disconnected and disengaged, the price is enormous, and the impacts can cause serious and long-term damage. Personal disengagement means, at best, less enthusiasm and energy, but it is often far more debilitating and painful. Disengagement in our lives can happen for many reasons, maybe something awful occurred and we became fearful. Or we asked for what we wanted over-and-over, continually being disappointed and disrespected and chose to give up. The cause could also be a physical or mental health condition that debilitated us. The precipitating factors are myriad and as specific and varied as we are.
The solution, however, is simple. The solution is action.
If you are feeling disengaged, I urge you to scan your horizon. Look around and pay attention to everything. Wait for the one, next bright thing you encounter. Search until you discover the next thing that inspires enthusiasm or gives even the smallest spark of excitement, inspiration, or joy. Jack Canfield calls joy your personal GPS and recommends you move toward it. I call this the golden thread, and I have always envisioned it as the shimmery, secret map of our life’s path and purpose. I am certainly not the first to imagine the story of my life as a thread; this is a common motif throughout world mythology. Sometimes my thread gets buried in the rubble and mud, but if I look, eventually, I’ll see a hint of it shining on the horizon and know where to go next. I bet this will work for you, too.
Whether it be richly colored macaroons or piece of mysterious music playing in the grocery store, follow pleasure, follow joy, follow intrigue, follow curiosity. Take the next step toward whatever brings enthusiasm. Follow each breadcrumb until you reach the next, then follow that. If you lose the trail, be patient. You’ll find it. It’s your birthright, so you can only lose it temporarily. It will always make its way back to you. Perhaps at the wrong time or in an unexpected place, but it is yours, and to paraphrase Rumi, what you seek is always seeking you.
For example, there have been times when I could not find anything bright, but I’d feel the unpleasant pull of envy for something someone else was experiencing. I learned that envy is a teacher. When I sat with it and asked why I was experiencing that sour sensation, it would inevitably lead me to something I wanted, some enthusiasm or energy I didn’t have and coveted. By continually questioning, I’d find more under the surface of that envy of mine. Awareness or insights about what we want are always valuable and often lead us to the next place we need to be when we let them.
This simple recipe (and a bit of faith and tarot) have carried me out of soul-sucking jobs, bad relationships, and intense depressions. Your path will be as winding and beautiful and unique as you are. If you have very little energy, it may take longer to find the bright thing and move toward it.
Still, find your strength and take action, when you see that shimmer on the horizon!